The hardest thing was that she never got to open her eyes.
Being born at 24 weeks often means that your eyes are still fused closed.
For me that had been the most poignant thing, and in reflection I’m not sure how to feel. She never got to see the world, she didn’t see her world inside me either.
In some ways I’m glad she didn’t get to see the world, but reasons for that are bitter sweet. The world is indeed an awful place, if you accept it as that.
But you can chose to focus on the beauty. To absorb it. To see it with every piece of your heart. To take it as a truly beautiful thing, which is a pleasure.
But she didn’t see that.
I wished she’d seen my face, our faces.
I wished she could of seen how heartbroken and sorry we were. I wish she could of seen that we loved her.
She heard us for 24 weeks. But she never saw us.
Appreciate what you see. See the beauty in things.
Appreciate your view, wherever it may be.
Take a look around, appreciate.
And smile.
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