I want to say good morning,
I want to ask you how you do,
I do not mean to be ignorant
When I’m stood right next to you.
I don’t want to be unapproachable,
I’d like to stop to chat a while
I’d like to get to know you
And reciprocate a smile
But I don’t feel like I fit in
I’m encased in a bubble all around
I avoid the social situation
And stand staring at the ground
I feel that I’m not worthy
That I have nothing valuable to say
when I’d only like to say hello
and ask about your day.
But I feel my voice is quiet
My laugh’s not loud enough
I don’t fit in within a fashion sense
I find it very tough
But I try to hide my crumbling
I try not to break my stance
I avoid your conversation
I fail to catch your glance
But it breaks my heart to do that
When I’d much rather fit right in
And ask you how you’re doing
and how your day has been
But I’m not the only awkward one
I’m not the only one standing there alone
We’re both just waiting for the bell to ring
To take our babies home
Avoiding conversation
Failing to fit in
Not jumping into talks of motherhood
Or feelings from within
It’s difficult to acknowledge
It’s even harder to say hi
When people seem to have connections around you
And you find it difficult to try
So you avoid the situation
You stand silent out the way
You don’t start conversation
You’ve nothing good to say
Because you feel that you won’t fit in
You feel you’re not a school yard mum
because when you’re faced with social situations
you’d rather turn and run
And don’t think I’m not trying
That I won’t reciprocate your smile
Don’t think that I won’t conversate
or stop and chat a while
I often try to do it
But I step back consumed by fear
And shrink a little more within myself
With thoughts ‘I wish I wasn’t here’
But it’s not because I’m ignorant,
Or being rude to you
because I’d much rather say good morning
and ask you how you do.
I’d much rather show I’m confident
That I can stand and talk a while
And that I do appreciate your mumness too
I do appreciate your smile.
Truth! Hahaha Honest & relatable right there, great writing!
I feel every single word of this. I’ve recently moved to a new town and starting the whole school mum thing all over again has been such a struggle.
I completely relate to everything you said. I have never met you, but have followed your page. You, my dear lady have so much to offer in a friendship. You my, dear lady are the most creative, loving mom and I wish I could know you. You would add so much to the lives of the people you meet. If you’re shy like me, I get it.
But try to be you and share your loveliness. You know it’s not the clothes, or bank account that defines a person. It’s your heart. Let it shine,❣️