Family Days Tried And Tested

I want to say good morning,
I want to ask you how you do,
I do not mean to be ignorant
When I’m stood right next to you.

I don’t want to be unapproachable,
I’d like to stop to chat a while
I’d like to get to know you
And reciprocate a smile

But I don’t feel like I fit in
I’m encased in a bubble all around
I avoid the social situation
And stand staring at the ground

I feel that I’m not worthy
That I have nothing valuable to say
when I’d only like to say hello
and ask about your day.

But I feel my voice is quiet
My laugh’s not loud enough
I don’t fit in within a fashion sense
I find it very tough

But I try to hide my crumbling
I try not to break my stance
I avoid your conversation
I fail to catch your glance

But it breaks my heart to do that
When I’d much rather fit right in
And ask you how you’re doing
and how your day has been

But I’m not the only awkward one
I’m not the only one standing there alone
We’re both just waiting for the bell to ring
To take our babies home

Avoiding conversation
Failing to fit in
Not jumping into talks of motherhood
Or feelings from within

It’s difficult to acknowledge
It’s even harder to say hi
When people seem to have connections around you
And you find it difficult to try

So you avoid the situation
You stand silent out the way
You don’t start conversation
You’ve nothing good to say

Because you feel that you won’t fit in
You feel you’re not a school yard mum
because when you’re faced with social situations
you’d rather turn and run

And don’t think I’m not trying
That I won’t reciprocate your smile
Don’t think that I won’t conversate
or stop and chat a while

I often try to do it
But I step back consumed by fear
And shrink a little more within myself
With thoughts ‘I wish I wasn’t here’

But it’s not because I’m ignorant,
Or being rude to you
because I’d much rather say good morning
and ask you how you do.

I’d much rather show I’m confident
That I can stand and talk a while
And that I do appreciate your mumness too
I do appreciate your smile.

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