Jude’s Eviction Notice

Jude's eviction noticeDear Jude,

It’s with love that we serve you this official notice…


I watch you in the moment

absorb you wriggling beneath my skin

avoiding a downward direction

comfy cosy from within


I feel your arms and legs all tangled

your elbows poke and prod

I’m no longer moving gracefully

I three point turn to roll my bod


And although I adore that you’re inside me

I know it’s your safe place

It’s time for you to exit

It’s time to show your face


You’ve used your allocation time

You’ve snuggled and grown for 40 weeks

now it’s time to give my body back

with post pregnancy wear & tear and leaks


A world of love awaits you

you’ve boobies here on tap

You need to find the exit out

without delay or looking back


I’ve enjoyed my job of making you

I’ve felt you move and watched you grow

I’ve watched my waist expand and hips balloon

I’ve watched my feet disappear real slow.


You’ve graced me with hardened hunger pains

a lust for food that’s been intense

A heartburn that’s washed over me

The amount of Gaviscon drank has been immense


You’ve made me rise quite regimental

A routine at 3 am

With a need to pee and search for food

and then return to bed again


You took my ability to bend over comfortably

In the last few months you made me walk with quite a sway

You’ve tugged upon my heartstrings

and made me lose my head quite often day to day


And we’ve watched my belly expanding

We’ve talked to you through my womb

And you’ve grew and grew and grew and grew

and now there’s barely any room


You’ve stretched yourself beneath my ribs

You’ve made me wanna pee

You seem to bounce around a lot

We see elbows, toes and knees


And as much as you are comfy

You’ve completely served your time

From a teeny seed to newborn size

It’s time that you arrived


So I’m serving you this notice

an eviction order from outside

You’re no longer permitted to reside in me

you must exit in your stride


It’s time that you moved on from there

you’ve a whole world to come explore

you can come out through the sunroof

or squeeze through my pelvic floor


Because you’ve now overstayed your welcome

I want my womb back for my own

you’ve adoring arms awaiting you

and a loving noisy home


You’ve failed to keep you’re arrival date

you’ve let us down on our prediction

so with no choice at all, but with love in tow

we order this eviction…

Similar Posts